Strategies for Enhancing Social/Peer Relationships

Your client may have some difficulty socializing and connecting with same-age peers. It is common for children with neurodevelopmental disorders to experience challenges with social skills and difficulty making and keeping friends.

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To support your client in enhancing their social/peer relationships, it may be helpful to:

  • Encourage your client’s teachers and parents to continue to work on building their social skills so that they have positive peer interactions and relationships (e.g., problem solving, getting along with others). 
  • Provide verbal explanations of specific social skills, including facial expressions and social pragmatics
  • Identify and label improper behavior (e.g., “You’re interrupting my conversation with your father.”).
    • It is important to label behaviour in a neutral, nonjudgmental tone, and teach the correct social skill (e.g., “Please wait for a pause in the discussion, and say ‘Excuse me.’”)
  • Work with your client to set achievable social goals. Make the goals as specific as possible (e.g., “I will say hello to Sara at lunch today”).
    • Provide reinforcement and positive feedback when your client demonstrates appropriate social behaviours.
  • Help the client increase their awareness of how their behaviour can affect those around them.
    • For example, ask them to describe the issue they are having, why they think this is happening, and how they can change their behaviour. 
  • Coaching may be an effective strategy at school and home to help improve your client’s social relationships.
    • For example, emphasize good social behaviour (e.g., turn taking) and practice different ways to settle conflict.
  • Review with the client a clear set of guidelines for unacceptable behaviors and acceptable ways to express difficult feelings such as anger or disappointment.
  • Provide the client with social language to help them communicate their feelings.
    • For example, to express their feelings in a situation, prompt them to use an “I feel _____ when _____” approach.
      • For younger clients, specify and teach words or phrases that the client can use when dealing with accidents (such as “I’m sorry, it was an accident“) and aggressive acts (such as, ” I’m sorry, I won’t do it again”).
  • Teach and practice turn-taking skills during games and activities with the clients.
    • Younger clients may benefit from using language such as “my turn” and “your turn” to help them identify who is expected to go next.
    • Encourage those around the client to model and reinforce these turn taking behaviours.
  • Continue to provide the client with structured/supervised opportunities to promote positive peer interactions and develop friendships with their classmates (e.g., peer assisted learning opportunities).
    • Facilitate opportunities for them to develop connections with their classmates.
      • It may be helpful to pair your client up with students who are more tolerable and have similar interests. 
  • Role-play and rehearse social situations with the client. Allow the client to play herself with an adult (e.g., parent) plays the other child.
    • Begin with scripted interactions then move on to improvisation of situations. Switch roles. Discuss what the client did well and what they could do differently.
      • Encourage those around the client to observe their social interactions. Many children will commit social blunders without realizing it.
      • If observing such a situation, encourage the observer to discuss with the situation with the client using this same analyzing technique of what went well and what they could have done differently. 
      • Congratulate the client after engaging in a successful social interaction.
  • Encourage the client to find opportunities to compliment their friends.
  • Work to identify potential friends. Talk with your client about who they like to spend time with, who they get along with, and who is interested in the same interests.
    • Help them make a connection and provide them with opportunities to grow authentic friendships with those peers. 
  • Your client’s anxiety may make it difficult to push themselves out of their comfort zone.
    • Challenge your client to call a friend and make plans, even if it is difficult.
    • This may temporarily increase their anxiety, but will become easier with practice.