Strategies to Support Parenting an Adolescent with Anxiety

Parenting an adolescent with anxiety can be challenging. As your client begins the process of changing her thoughts and behaviours, they will likely experience some distress and resistance.

This is a very normal reaction. Continue to support their growth and therapy by challenging and interrupting negative thought patterns, while providing comfort and reassurance when needed.

Some other strategies that may be helpful to add in your report may include:

• At the beginning of their therapy, your client will likely need support to identify what is anxiety and how to deal with it.
  • They may not be able to interrupt negative thought patterns on their own.
  • If your client seems to be asking the same or similar questions repeatedly, such as “What will happen if…” ask “What did I tell you the first time?”
  • Anxiety, like a parasite, feeds off of constant reassurance.

• Consider trying the FEEL method. When your client seems particularly anxious:

FEEL Method

■ Freeze – take deep breaths together

■ Empathize – anxiety can be very overwhelming

■ Evaluate – once your client is calmer, try to come up with solutions together

■ Let go – let go of the conversation (no coming back to it), and let go of any guilt you as a parent may have. This is a challenging process and everyone is doing the best they can.

• Consistent positive reinforcement is important for students with anxiety, especially those that have comorbid attention concerns.

• It is important to give your client lots of encouragement and positive praise at home and in the classroom.
  • Provide your client with immediate and frequent reinforcement for appropriate and desired behaviours and/or achievement (e.g., using relaxation strategies, being “brave”, cooperatively engaging in non-preferred activities).
  • Look for positives – no matter how small the accomplishment. 

• Your client may benefit from an extrinsic reward system in order to increase cooperation with academic tasks and household responsibilities.
  • Rewards can also be used to encourage your client to practice relaxation and coping strategies.
  • To be effective, rewards need to be powerful, frequent and varied. Examples include awarding points for completed work, token economies.

• If your client displays some checking behaviors off, these may seem harmless, however, allowing him/her to do so may perpetuate their anxiety. 
  • Consider allowing your client to check (number of times) on the weekend, and then no more.
    • Try challenging their thoughts by asking, for example, “Has X ever happened?”.

Parental Resources

The following are a list of books for your client’s parents:

•  Anxiety-Free Kids: An Interactive Guide for Parents and Children (by Bonnie Zucker)
•  The Conscious Parents’ Guide to Childhood Anxiety: A Mindful Guide to Helping your Child Become Calm, Resilient, and Secure (by Sherianna Boyle)